


Distant Memories

by tctenshi13



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Banana Fish Anime Spoilers, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-13
Updated: 2019-10-13
Packaged: 2020-12-14 14:44:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21017486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tctenshi13/pseuds/tctenshi13
Summary: “I miss Shorter.” Eiji’s voice cracked. He repeated his words over and over in between sobs. “I miss him, Ash. I miss Shorter so much.” Ash held onto Eiji tightly as his sobs wracked his smaller frame. Though Ash rubbed soothing circles into Eiji’s lower back, Eiji swore he heard Ash’s breathing hitch as well.





	Distant Memories

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my entry for the Banana Fish gift exchange, I hope you all enjoy! This is also my first time posting my writing for others to see. A huge shout out to my friend for being my beta reader! You are amazing.

Eiji couldn’t recall the first time it happened, or how long it had been since the first, but restless nights had become commonplace for him. Sure, he had similar nights following his sports injury, but never to the extent where he was breaking out in a cold sweat or springing out of bed in a panic.

It was the same repetitive event—one that plagued his dreams, and one he so desperately tried to keep tucked away deep into his subconscious. Tonight was no different: Eiji found himself frantically reaching for something, an illusory image that remained unattainable upon his awakening.

Eiji adjusted his legs over the edge of the bed, resting his head in his hands in attempt to calm himself down. He felt the mattress shift beside him, accompanied by a soft groaning noise. Eiji lifted his head to find a pair of emerald-colored eyes boring into his own. It was breathtaking, the way the moonlight danced in Ash’s golden hair and reflected in his glassy eyes. Eiji almost forgot about the turmoil that had roused him from his sleep. 

“Eiji...?” Despite his sleepy haze, Ash’s concern for Eiji was etched into his eyes, embedded into the tone of his voice.

“Sorry for waking you, Ash. I’m fine, so please go back to sleep.” Eiji assured him quietly as he always did, hoping Ash would simply comply. To his surprise, Ash switched on the bedside lamp, his gaze scrutinizing as if he were reading Eiji like a book.

“Eiji,” Ash’s voice was firm, though not unkind. “Please tell me what’s going on.”

“Ash... I—“ Eiji was silenced when Ash’s hand came into contact with his cheek. His thumb gently swiped away something warm and damp from Eiji’s cheek; only then did Eiji realize that he had been crying. 

“I don’t know... I guess I’m missing home.” Eiji told Ash a little white lie, hoping that he would drop the matter. Nevertheless, Ash raised an eyebrow as soon as the words escaped Eiji’s mouth. 

“Home, huh?” Ash leaned forward as he crossed his arms. “Tell me, then... What does Shorter have to do with missing home?”

Eiji clenched his teeth.

“I don’t understand what you mean.” Eiji averted his eyes as Ash noticeably frowned at his statement. 

“Eiji... you called out Shorter’s name in your sleep again.”

Again?

Eiji paled at the thought that he had called out for Shorter in his sleep on multiple occasions.

“How embarrassing,” Eiji mumbled, rubbing at his temples. The mention of Shorter’s name alone caused his eyes to burn, and he sighed heavily. “My nightmares are nothing compared to what you have been through, Ash. I shouldn’t complain.”

Ash had now taken a seat next to Eiji.

“That’s where you’re wrong.”

Eiji felt a hand clasp over his own tightly clenched fist. 

“We all process emotions differently. Just because I have trauma that differs from yours doesn’t mean yours is any less important.”

Ash’s words held sincerity, his gaze gentle. This was the side of Ash that Eiji had grown to admire.

“Talk to me, Eiji. I want to listen to your troubles just as you did for me. That is, if you’ll let me.”

That was enough to send Eiji’s emotions over the edge. In a matter of seconds, Eiji had buried his head into the crook of Ash’s neck, releasing all of the pent up grief he’d been holding onto all this time. 

“I miss Shorter.” Eiji’s voice cracked. He repeated his words over and over in between sobs. “I miss him, Ash. I miss Shorter so much.” Ash held onto Eiji tightly as his sobs wracked his smaller frame. Though Ash rubbed soothing circles into Eiji’s lower back, Eiji swore he heard Ash’s breathing hitch as well.

It seemed like hours had passed before Eiji finally lifted his head, taking a few deep breaths in an attempt to release the remaining tightness in his chest. 

“I’m sorry.” That was all Eiji had the energy to say. His throat was sore from crying.

Ash was stiff and silent for a moment, until he finally cleared his throat.

“You Japanese are too apologetic, you know?”

Eiji didn’t have time to react to that before Ash rose from his spot on the bed, exiting the room.

Eiji clicked his tongue. “What’s wrong with that?” he grumbled.

While Ash was away, Eiji decided to take a moment to go splash cool water onto his face in the bathroom. It didn’t help much; the reflection of his gaze that he caught in the mirror still had red and puffy eyes that told of his emotional state. Eiji hated to burden others with his problems, but there was something about Ash that he had absolute trust in.

He returned to the bedroom at the same time Ash re-entered as well. Ash, who was carrying a glass of water, swiftly placed it into Eiji’s hands.

“Drink up, big bro. I can’t have you passing out from dehydration.” 

Ash’s snarky comment caused Eiji to narrow his eyes. He wasn’t about to let Ash slide with that one.

“Fine, I will! But where is your glass of water? Afraid you will wet the bed?” Eiji grinned tiredly. 

Ash curled up on the bed with his chin resting on his knees. “Funny. Weren’t you the one who was just bawling like a little baby?” The corner of Ash’s eyes wrinkled up, though his tight-lipped grin held a certain tiredness as well. 

Eiji pouted a bit, but said nothing in return. He sat back on the bed, finishing off the glass of water in silence and placing it on the bedside table. Ash remained silent as well. His gaze was turned to the window once again—solemn, as if he was contemplating something important.

“Ash... could you tell me more about Shorter? It’s okay if you don’t want to,” Eiji added quickly afterward, not wanting to make Ash relive any painful memories on his behalf.

“Our chat is long overdue anyway.” Ash turned. There was a longing glint in his eye, a soft, yet desolate expression.

“When I first met Shorter, I figured he was only nice to me because he wanted something from me. It didn’t take long for me to realize he was just concerned about my well-being. Shorter was the first one to treat me as an actual person instead of just some toy to be tossed around.”

The room fell silent. Eiji thought back to the time in Los Angeles. The memory was hazy, but there was something he couldn’t shake from his mind.

“That one time, when you and Max left... Yut-Lung drugged Ibe-san, and before I knew it, everything went black. I couldn’t see or hear anything, but I still had sensation in my body. There was warmth with me the entire time, until I came to. It was Shorter... I just know it. All that time, he was trying to protect me.” Eiji could still recall the pain and anguish Shorter experienced. The terror in Shorter’s eyes. The moment Shorter’s body fell limp on top of him. It was the memories of Shorter’s final moments that continued to haunt Eiji.

“Never once did I blame Shorter for anything that happened. None of it was his fault... I wish I could’ve told him that at least. I wish I could’ve soothed his suffering somehow.” There was a desolate strain to Ash’s voice as he spoke.

“That reminds me...” Ash sauntered towards the dresser, digging through it momentarily until retrieving what appeared to be a picture. A grin became prevalent on Ash’s features, though it was tinged in sadness, as he carried it over towards Eiji.

“What is it?” He was unable to suppress his curiosity as the picture was handed to him.

“An angel?” Eiji drew his eyebrows together in confusion.

“Shorter would always tell me I reminded him of someone. I thought he was insane.”

First, it started out as a snicker before eventually Eiji was doubled over with fits of laughter. It was ironic he thought, but the pout on Ash’s face made it even more amusing. 

“You’re the opposite of an angel,” Eiji teased, Ash snatching the postcard from his grasp. 

“Yeah yeah, you’re not much of a saint yourself!” Ash seemed to dismiss the conversation with a wave, turning to secure it back into the drawer.

“If only I had taken a picture of Shorter back then.” 

“Oh yeah? Did he look any different?” Eiji wondered. He couldn’t imagine much of a change. 

“Did he?” Ash snorted. “His head was the size of a melon. No hair at all!” 

Now that was something Eiji would like to see.

“I’m sure Nadia has some pictures. We will stop by sometime. She deserves an explanation.” Ash’s expression saddened for what seemed like the hundredth time that night. It made Eiji’s heart ache for him.

“To be honest, I’m scared. Scared of how she’ll react knowing that I’m the cause of Shorter’s death.” Eiji could hear his sobs from across the room.

“Ash...come here.” He gestured for Ash to occupy the empty spot next to him. Once seated, Eiji gently embraced Ash.

“She won’t blame you because it’s not your fault. You’re not carrying this alone, we share the same responsibility.” Eiji pulled away just enough to wipe the tears that were running down Ash’s cheek. “We should remember all the good times spent with Shorter and celebrate his life. I think that’s what he would want, don’t you?” Eiji swallowed a lump in his throat in efforts to hold back his own tears.

“Eiji...” Ash cradled Eiji into his arms, both of them lying onto their sides. “Thank you.” His words were barely audible.

“Goodnight, Ash.” Eiji snuggled into his chest, holding Ash close. The nightmares once responsible for Eiji’s heartache were now filled with memories of good times spent with Ash and Shorter. Distant memories that Eiji would always cherish.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay sooo Shorter’s death in the anime really impacted me. They did my boy wrong. I wanted to add a more in-depth detail of how much Shorter meant to both Ash and Eiji. Thank you for reading!


End file.
